Whose Gloucester video is better?

Friday, August 13, 2010

Vuelta 2010!


The final Grand Tour of 2010 is upon us and let me tell you, folks, it's a star studded cast of characters! Come Back kids, Schlecks, Manxmouth, Smiley Menchov and more!

Very stoked that Frandy will be back in action with both Schlecksters on the Roster for SexyBank. The last hurrah before the boys leave the gentle nurturing arms of uncle Bjarne and strike out on their own.

Alas, no Valverde to try to go for a two-fer. Sorry Alejandro, you'll have to settle for the torture of listening to a disco remix of Lady Gaga sing your song over and over while looking at a picture of her without makeup.

This is the sentence Pat McQuaid has decided upon for the entire August 28-September 19 duration of the Vuelta. McQuaid also says that Armstrong will get no preferential treatment either, except for continuing to have Phil and Paul as personal servants, free cheeseburgers for life, and free advertising at any UCI event in the world.

Come Back kids Christian Vande Velde and Tyler Farrar will be looking to make up for their crashbandons of both the Giro and le Tour. Poor VDV he's had a hell of a season. No crashes dood, no crashes. Let's hope that Tyler (surfer-dood Farrah) will come back with some spring in his step and will crush the Mouth from Mann in any and all sprints. If not Tyler, let's hope that Thor (the god of thunder) will continue to keep Markie Mark in his proper place as the fastest man in the world (who can't win Sprinter's Jerseys in Grand Tours to save his life. hee hee)

Vladimir (no mullet) Karpets will be riding for Katusha (gadzundheit) We'll see if he has decided to regrow the golden fleece of his mullet. Off topic here- but does anyone else think Linus Gerdeman looks like a girl?


I could be wrong, but it looks to be a Cuddles free Vuelta as I don't see BMC on the provisional roster. Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for small favors.

I'm keeping my eyes and ears peeled for more news on Schleck Cycling. I'm thinking emo Thomas Lovqvist would a nice addition to the team, eh?

'nuff said

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Two months ago, the BMC Racing Team announced it was not doing the Vuelta: http://www.velonation.com/News/ID/4537/Vuelta-a-Espana-Team-BMC-Racing-says-three-Grand-Tours-not-doable-for-2010-RadioShack-unhappy.aspx

An unlikely survivor said...

Hi Anon,

Two YEARS ago I announced that this blog was based on hearsay, non-facts, and my own distorted view of reality. Get with the program, dood!

Teams HAVE been known to change their minds (especially when their crying cuddly GC contender sucked wind in the TdF)

annapalooza said...

Being a Vuelta virgin (yes, I am one of those people who got into the tour de france because of Lance. I was only like 14, so you can't really blame me too much)
I am pumped and apprehensive about the vuelta.

Mostly because I have to watch it on Universal sports instead of versus. I've grown to like Phil and Paul. Actually, me and Phil had a falling out over the whole Contador being a big dick thing. But still. Can I still enjoy the race without their high society commentary?

Will they show Andy's hot bod enough?

Who will I hate with a vengeance if Contador isn't there?

These are the things I wonder.

But still excited! :D