Whose Gloucester video is better?

Monday, August 30, 2010

Garmin Cervelo?????

Print out the pic above and start shooting darts to decide who will "Transition" to Garmin.

So the Argyles are going to merge with the Cervelos, eh? Yes Cervelo has a Woman's squad. Whoop de doo. Only reason (IMHO) why Cervelo couldn't fly on their own is because all they sell are bikes. They needed to sell bike chachka to be a viable operation. Gone are the days when pro tour teams are sponsored by...well...bike companies.

You know Tyler Farrar spit POM juice all over himself when he heard the god of thunder was going to be rumbling in his direction. Here's what creepy sideburn-hipster glasses-turtle neck wearing JV says. “I’ve spoken with Tyler about it. At the end of the day I think they are different types of sprinters,”

Who will get the ax on each team?

Here are my pics for riders who will be looking for new teams:

  1. Danny Pate- bye bye Mr. I can't decide on a Twitter Name guy!
  2. Fredrik Kassiakoff- who?
  3. Kirk Carlson- He's a New England boy, so I hate to see him go, but go he will.
  4. Christian Meier- Sorry dood if your one goal this season was "Season Goals: Attempt to set the team record for most bottles transported for team car in one go; overall bottles hauled for the season" then you gots to go!
  5. Matt Wilson- what have you done since 2004, my dear?
From what I hear it's a go that Heinrich Haussler and The God of Thunder will be rolling Argyle in 2011. We all know Sastre has other plans. Riders I'd like to see in the Armade include: Theo Bos, Davide Appolonio, Dan Lloyd (I like him) Ted King, and Dominique Rollin. That's just my wish list. As with all posts to this blog rest assured nothing is based on fact or research.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Schleck Says Contador Signing Was No Surprise | Cyclingnews.com

Schleck Says Contador Signing Was No Surprise | Cyclingnews.com

Who Knew Contador was marrying Riis? I give the marriage 11 months. AND I will want my present back if it doesn't, in fact, last at least one year! It's proper etiquette FFS! Looking forward to Vuelta start tomorrow. Glad VDV is back in action. Even though because of him I now have "Send in the Clowns" playing over and over in my head. Don't ask. Long story. Just hope you never get put on hold by Garmin if you have a problem with your 705.

So Frankie will be riding for GC with Andy's support, eh?

Friday, August 13, 2010

Vuelta 2010!

The final Grand Tour of 2010 is upon us and let me tell you, folks, it's a star studded cast of characters! Come Back kids, Schlecks, Manxmouth, Smiley Menchov and more!

Very stoked that Frandy will be back in action with both Schlecksters on the Roster for SexyBank. The last hurrah before the boys leave the gentle nurturing arms of uncle Bjarne and strike out on their own.

Alas, no Valverde to try to go for a two-fer. Sorry Alejandro, you'll have to settle for the torture of listening to a disco remix of Lady Gaga sing your song over and over while looking at a picture of her without makeup.

This is the sentence Pat McQuaid has decided upon for the entire August 28-September 19 duration of the Vuelta. McQuaid also says that Armstrong will get no preferential treatment either, except for continuing to have Phil and Paul as personal servants, free cheeseburgers for life, and free advertising at any UCI event in the world.

Come Back kids Christian Vande Velde and Tyler Farrar will be looking to make up for their crashbandons of both the Giro and le Tour. Poor VDV he's had a hell of a season. No crashes dood, no crashes. Let's hope that Tyler (surfer-dood Farrah) will come back with some spring in his step and will crush the Mouth from Mann in any and all sprints. If not Tyler, let's hope that Thor (the god of thunder) will continue to keep Markie Mark in his proper place as the fastest man in the world (who can't win Sprinter's Jerseys in Grand Tours to save his life. hee hee)

Vladimir (no mullet) Karpets will be riding for Katusha (gadzundheit) We'll see if he has decided to regrow the golden fleece of his mullet. Off topic here- but does anyone else think Linus Gerdeman looks like a girl?

I could be wrong, but it looks to be a Cuddles free Vuelta as I don't see BMC on the provisional roster. Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for small favors.

I'm keeping my eyes and ears peeled for more news on Schleck Cycling. I'm thinking emo Thomas Lovqvist would a nice addition to the team, eh?

'nuff said

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Schleck Cycling 2011

Doesn't Andy look pissed? No wonder he's striking on his own - or at least with Frank

The Schleckster Train is ready to roll! I really hope the new kits are pretty.

So let's start to break it down. Contador is "replacing" Andy Schleck at Saxo/Sungard/Bjarne Riis Cycling. Funny since one of the reasons for his exodus from Astana were eqipment malfunction- anyone remember CHAINGATE? Frandy -for those of you not in the know- the brothers are actually one force against all of the evil entities in the peloton like emaciated chicken boy TradeMark Sansen.

As those of you who occasionally read this blog you know that my sources are impickidable and entirely fi(a)ctional and usually based on nothing more than the ether in which such chatter spreads (sorry CIA hope you don't pick this up by mistake- my bad if you do) over the interweb (which was invented by Al Gore) Just to really confuse you- and to verify my complete sanity-check out the UFO that was in my house. a while back.

Onto the future of Schleck Cycling. It started out as a thought, and You know, if
one person, just one person does it they may think he's really sick and
they won't take him. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony,
they may think they're both faqqots and they won't take either of them.
And three people do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in
singin a bar of Schleck Cycling and walking out. They may think it's an
organization. And can you, can you imagine fifty people a day,I said
fifty people a day walking in singin a bar of Schleck Cycling and
walking out. And friends they may thinks it's a movement.
(adapted from Alice's Restaurant by Arlo Guthrie)

Now we can call it the Luxembourg Team, but we all know it's really the Frandy team. So far the "Schleck project has remained wrapped in mystery." (Andrew Hood) Now on to speculation as to who will follow the dynamic Luxembourgish duo onto the new pro tour team. Hood predicts that these Pelotoneers will follow the Schlecks:
  1. DS Kim Andersen
  2. Manager Brian Nygaard
  3. Jacob Flugelhorn
  4. Jensie FA Voigt
  5. Stewie O'Grady
  6. Laurent Diddler
  7. LL Cool Sanchez
  8. David Arroyo
Reliable sources say that Fabulous Cancellara and the Sorenson twins will not follow the Schlecks. I beg to differ. I'm betting fabulous will follow his twig arm boys from Lux. I'm also betting that anyone on a team that ain't paying or is making them wash their own kits or some such nonsense might want to get in line for the Schleck-O-Rama.

On another note: Bjarne Riis thinks Rasmussin deserves a chance. So look for a fabulous return of the chicken! Think Uncle Bjarne would be brave enough to give Chicken man a chance on HIS team? SMH- I doubt it.

Anywho- looking for your thoughts on a nice deep bench for Schleck Cycling AKA Team Luxembourg

Give me your realistic, and your most far-fetched line-up for the new Frandy Team!

Oh yeah Great job to Dan Martin on Tour of dnaloP!! Go Garmin Transitions/Slipstream!

Monday, August 2, 2010

This has nothing to do with Andy, but it does have to do with TOCatskills

HOLY CRAP!!!!! This incredibly scary incident happened during the Cat 4 race at last week's Tour of the Catskills here in New England.

First of all; why the hell were horses on the damn course????? SMH!

Second of all; is the dood who got knocked into the ditch by the freaked out horse OK?

Third of all; what's up with the dood in the Kessena kit at 41 seconds who just takes off? City boy..pfft!

Fourth of all; why are the horse riders wearing cowboy hats? Let me remind you WE'RE IN NEW ENGLAND NOT TEXAS!!!!!

Fifth of all; did the peloton just take off and leave that poor dood in the ditch with a horse hoof imprinted on his helmet?

Sixth of all; Where were the damn officials????? Where the damn Marshalls?

Seventh of all; I wonder how far back that was in the field? And which field it was, A or B? Because we know a dood, Dennis Demarais, who got 18th in cat 4 and he didn't say nothin' bout no horses attacking the peloton.

8th of all; I just noticed the dood on the left who totally got trampled by the equine invasion! Jumpin' Jehozafat! I was all worried about the dood who got bumped by the horses butt into the ditch on the right side. The dood on the left looks like he could have sustained more damage.

This is just really bizarre.

Note to Race Organizers (and horseback riders)- When planning a major bike race or a leisurely horseback ride- check to see if #insertbikeracenamehere or #inserthorsebackride here is taking place on the same roads at the same time.

For what it's worth Freaky Floyd Landis (aka Lloyd Flanders) came in 11th in the pro race. After seeing the pros struggling up Devil's Kitchen Jon is glad he opted out this year. BRU-TAL! Below are the pros in "the Kitchen" Floyd is about a min back. (loser)