Whose Gloucester video is better?

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Twas a sad week in cycling.........

GAHHH! Wouldn't you hate to be that trophy?
I imagine Contador had to douse himself in a mild bleach solution after giving
Vino the obligatory hug.

Handy Andy and Gilbert charging towards the finish of L-B-L-
Andy! Why didn't you try harder in that last 10K? The forces of evil are now
running the pro peloton!

As the Spring Classics come to an end, and the season of the Grand Tours looms; I find myself somewhat disillusioned, disenchanted, disenfranchised and disgusted. When the winner (the Evil Dopehead Vino) has to go on record that his "victory was clean" and is booed by the fans I am also discouraged, disgruntled, disengaged and disappointed. Additionally, anything that dismays the brothers Schleck causes me dismayal and disapproval. BTW- congrats to Frank on the new little Schleckette.

Wonderer, speculator, conspiracy theorist, and strange person that I am; I find my mind spinning around the question: Why is Andy racing the Tour of California and not the Giro? California girls are cuter? He wants to get in tip top shape for le Tour without the pressure (and hamburger factory) that the Giro can apply and become? Any ideas in the fangirl universe?

Why oh why couldn't UCI/WADA/Animal Control/ Men in Black/ANYONE have just saved us all the hassle and banned Vino for life? He's a prick and could have used a prick from the green needle at the Humane Society if you know what I'm saying. Just can't muster any kind of enthusiasm for this dood.

Cuddles' (while still in desperate need of an eyebrow waxing) won Fleche Wallone. It seems he has finally learned the value (and how-to) attack. Although I must say that the BMC kit certainly does not flatter the reporter smacker from down under. Most of you know my views on Cadel, so no need to elaborate on HOW MUCH I HATE HIM right now. I'll wait until le Tour.

Anywho, hopefully the battle among the forces of good and evil in the pro peloton take a turn towards the side of good soon! Was glad to see VDV racing today and look forward to watching him have a good Giro. There ARE forces of good! The Argle Armada-VDV-DZ, the Schlecks, Jensie, Uncle Bjaarne, Fabulous Fabian, George Hincapie, Chris Horner need to take the bulls by the horns and kick some evil A$$!

Good luck to the Best Bike Racer in the Universe, and may the force be with you all.


sansen said...

I do wonder if Vino's road to reputation recovery would be easier for everyone if, oh, he was more handsome and more charming than he is (like Basso); or he could at least endure several in-depth interviews with Paul Kimmage.

An unlikely survivor said...

In this case it has nothing to do with looks it has to do with EEEEEVVVIIILLL!

Fede said...

Italian journalists always bother Andy with the question 'When will you come back to the Giro?',but Andy always tells them that they have to ask Uncle Bjarne if they want to see him racing Giro again.
The thing is that,last week,the brave journalists finally decided to bother Uncle Riis in person and he said that it would be nice to see Andy racing the Giro again,but that in order to do so he would have to change his whole season schedule (what a tragedy!,Irony makes me type).Considering that this 'schedule problem' goes on since June 2007,me believes that the real problem is that the team sponsor (as Frank once admitted in an interview with an Italian magazine) just cares about the Tour and so Bjarne Riis is forced to bring his best riders in France in July rather than in Italy in May.Therefore I fear we'll have to wait until a Saxo Banker wins the Tour before we can see Andy in the Giro again.

Metheus said...

How is it that Vino is evil and "uncle Bjarne" is good? Does 10+ years removed from doping expunge one's past?

An unlikely survivor said...

This is a very black and white blog. Good V Evil. Schlecks=Good Vino = Evil. There is nothing that can be said that will change that simple fact.

Besides Borat Boy- Evil also encompasses- Cuddles, Sir Lance, Cav, and all their evil minions.

Good includes Schlecks, Argyle Armada, Big George, Jensie FA Voigt and Fabulous.

We are in the midst of a struggle the proportions of which parallel Star Wars. The fate of the universe is at stake. Choose your sides and prepare for battles of epic proportions in May-July.

Anne said...

Argh, exactly my thoughts, I wanted anyone to win but Vino. Although I have to say it's kind of fascinating to watch him, on the bike and in the press. Like a trainwreck about to happen, you just can't look away...