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Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The top 10 Reasons Why I Be Hatin' On Cav

photo: Casey B. Gibson ToM stage 2 9-8-09

  1. He says he is the fastest man in the world.
  2. He is the fastest man in the world (for some reason #s 1 and 2 make me want to bang my head against the wall.)
  3. He worships the ground that Erik Zabel treads upon...bleegggh!
  4. He got all Emo when he heard Big George was going to BMC next year. Yeah right...now he won't have the most awesomest best leadout dude in the biz working for him anymore. We know you are emotionless Mr. Man from Mann!
  5. He has an antagonistic relationship with Mr. Lovelylocks, crash your race car in Monaco, Filippo Pozzato. Who can't love this permed, frosted, italian speed freak?
  6. Just look at him.
  7. He just plain wins too much. Kind of takes away the fun for me. It's like "oh Cav's racing- might as well just watch "How it's Made."
  8. He's British and even my British friend doesn't like him. That's gotta say something about his character. I have no idea what that something is, but something.
  9. He got pissed at my boy Wiggo when he went out and got trashed after winning a track event at the 'lympics. Deal with it sonny boy. Just because Wiggo is your countryman doesn't mean he has to put down the Jim Beam for you!
  10. He's a "trash talking fire hydrant from the Isle of Mann" Go put that in your tubulars and smoke it Manx Mouth!
Yeah Yeah I know I'm trash talking too. He can come over here if he wants me to get all up in his grill! I'll take him on head to head with My Surley- bells, cards in spokes and all! You just name the day Mr. Cavendish. I'll be ready!


serialno9 said...

Nice. I love you too. I'm not Mark Cavendish though, in case you were wondering.

cinder said...

You could have stopped at reasons 1 and 2. If only someone else would win just to break up the monotony.

But what is the issue with Zabel? I've seen you mention it before. I must have missed something.

sansen said...

Now now, his genetics predetermined he would be so...so arrogantly fast on velocipedes so it is not his fault, right?

Maggie said...

I know that's the part that bugs me. And the fact that he can be humble at times. Just gets under my skin.

Cinder, Zabel- well that's a whole 'nother dynamic at play. Not really, but that sounded kind of good didn't it? Basically sprinters must be arrogant pricks. Look at cippo, cav, zabel etc. And therefore I must bust on them.

I'm still willing to take Cav on even with his new wicked fast motorcycle that he won on Stage 1 of the ToM.

Congrats to surfer dude Tyler Farrar on his sprint stage win at the Vuelta.

Should there be an asterisk after Tyler's win indicating the absence of Manx Mouth?

24 wins this year and he's 24 yrs-old ARRRRRRGGGGHHH!

Bunny said...

Aaaw, he is just a big kid, don't be so hard on him... not everybody can be blessed with hair like Pozzato!

Besides, Cavendish and Hushovd sprinting for the top of Ventoux in this years TdF - that have got to be the funnies thing ever - and pro cykling needs humour these days.

Marleen said...

I found your blog a while ago and I think it's great! My sister and I are huge cycling fans, we come from the Netherlands and we like reading your thoughts on cycling and cyclers.

This blog about Cav is awesome. We can't stand him either!!

Rose said...

I'm with you, Maggie. Cav gets to me in a big way. There's just something about him (probably totally unwarranted and unfair of me) that makes me want to smack someone.

Especially when he wins his 231st race of the TdF in a stage that "wasn't meant for him". Well, if it wasn't meant for him, can he just not win it, and stop trying to show the world how awesomely unpredictably out-of-this-world fast he is? Eugh.

On top of that, he's not very smart. And not that I have anything against dumb people, but his mouthing off against Big Thor and co. was just irritating. What a whinger.

And I'm one for variety, just personally. When it's a sprint stage (and even when it's not, apparently), I tend to wander off to make myself a coffee, because the outcome is always gonna be the same. I just wish a sprinter could stop being so cowed (and outsprinted) by the might of The Dish and beat him. Please.