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Thursday, July 23, 2009

Stage 16- OMG! We lost Jens and someone killed Kenny!

Stage 17 Rain, Fatigue, and Mountains
First off, Cadel still sucks (really really really) Can’t wait to hear what the whiny excuse will be. Andy the Magnificent is currently in 5th (I imagine this will change when Lancey pops in the mountains today.) Wiggo- the biggest surprise of the tour for this fan girl is in 3d! That is one funny dude as well as a bloke (as my friend Helen might say if she said such things) who can ride a bike! Brother Frank is not far behind and VDV went back up to top 10! VDV is sooo the dude. He basically says he’ll support Wiggo for the podium. Now that is a team player.
Holy Cow the Green Jersey of the God of Thunder is with the leaders. Go Thor. Keep that Green Jersey out of the greedy, nasty hands of Cav- whose latest waaaa is this “ If you win that Green Jersey (Thor) in France it will have a stain on it.” What a baby. Dude the officials’ word is the word. Handle it, learn from it, and don’t cry about it. Hah- Thor is killing the front in stage 17. It would take a natural disaster, act of god, or serious crash to put the Manx Mouth back into green. But as Thor himself is a god I highly doubt any of those things will happen.
OMG- Sir Phil said the heli shot looking down looked like a “giant maggot.” He is seriously losing it. Help find a cure for alzheimers, donate to Levibot’s guinea pig rescue farm. Wonder how he feeds the rodents with only one hand. Actually feel a bit sorry for “The ‘Bot” he’s had a rough coupla years Tour-wise.
Word on the street is that Astana will be in shambles next year. Johan and the traveling Lanceberries will take their show on the road under a new name new sponsor. Hmmmmm….. Wonder what Vino thinks of this?
Tragedy struck Team SexyBank yesterday. The heart of the team, Jens Voigt, crashed out. A nasty spill that left him with wicked road rash, a broken cheekbone, and possible intercranial trauma. His team mates say he’s doing OK considering. In an interview yestrday some dumb ass reporter got Andy S. right after the race and immediately said. “ Great day for you, right Andy?” Andy’s response: “It was a horrible day dumb ass- (that was me by the way who said that) we lost Jens you idiot. (me again)”
Quote of the week: LA “ No one wanted George in yellow more than me.” Yo Lance! What’s the difference between you and god? When god wakes up in the morning, he doesn’t think he’s you! George might have wanted to see George in yellow more than you. LA also says that Big George isn’t talking to any one since the day he missed yellow by 5 sec. Let me splain you something, Lance. Maybe George is a pro who understands how competitions work. Maybe he just doesn’t want to talk to YOU, Lance Armstrong.
News Flash! Kenny Van Hummel has quit the Tour. He’s been in last place since like the first day. Today, However, he also crashed. Hope he’s OK. Those bastards killed Kenny! Hope he took out a few shloogs on the way down.

More on whining: Don’t get me wrong I love and respect Carlos Sastre. BUT…….How can he possibly (with a straight face and in good conscience) be complaining that the press isn’t giving him enough coverage and/or respect as the defending champion? His performance thus far has made his name…..basically a non sequitar (sp?) Today, he seems to be desperately trying to claw his way back into contention. Yesterday it was kind of funny when Sirs Paul and Phil kept calling the group off the back (the group I fondly call- THE LOSERS) as the Sastre and Cadel group. Even though Sastre wasn’t even in that group. Yet more proof that the British commentating duo are getting to be….. let’s say….. a few sandwiches short of a complete picnic.
Now I see Andy and VDV at the back of the main group. Uh oh! Frankie seems to be having the better day of the bros. Frank attacks! I wish he wouldn’t constantly keep looking over his shoulder. First of all, given his record, he’ll probably crash. Second, he has to look right in the mug of Lance. Actually maybe that’s a good thing. Frank will sprint away in horror. Unless he wants Lance to tweet something for him. VDV is dropping off the back. Totally bummer. Andy just passed AC! He saw Wiggo and LA almost crash into each other and took advantage of the sitch and took off! Woot (sorry Helen) I knew the boy was playing possum. Unfortunately, I think Wiggo may have cracked. Come on Wiggo! VDV is sticking with him- trying to get him to bridge the gap between their group and the Schlecksters! VDV is a champ! The Garmin boys are about 35 sec back before the descent and then the final climb. What a dilemma….. Guess I’ll stick with my Schlecks even though the Garmin love is still strong! Tomorrow- the ITT will decide. I think my Schlecks are a bit leery of Wiggo and others in the ITT. Also, they’re a bit unsure of their own TT abilities. Wiggo is on Lance’s wheel now, trying to bridge the gap. Knew Lance was good for something. Thanks Lance.
OMG- Sir Phil just said “Lance is like a spring ready to pounce.” Who knew springs could pounce? I thought they just kind of went boing! He also just said “the four leaders are being chased by the four chasers.” Wow- think about that- it’s profound, really.Back to the Schlecks. Both have that Schlecky grin (or maybe a grimace of pain) that we have grown to know and love as they dance up the mountain.
On a final note in this stream of consciousness- Schlecks ruled the day- Wiggo has some time to make up tomorrow. AC is still pretty firmly in yellow. And finally, CADEL STILL SUCKS KANGAROO KNOBS!

4 comments:

rob ijbema said...

what would the tour be without the schlecks!?
they might not win but surely leave their mark
just painted those top blokes on theit bike

Helen said...

Me thinky you're troll baiting ;)

Rachel said...

I ran into your blog doing a google search for Andy Schleck (I'm slightly obsessed) and I already love it. The Schlecks are awesome, and Contador is kicking ass. I also give a hearty thumbs-up to your Lance-bashing. Lance can suck it.

Maggie said...

If Major Taylor were alive today he could kick the Manx Mouth's ass. I still think Tyler Farrar will come of age to kick the little wanna be leprechaun's (green jersey) buttocks.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0801853036/majortayloras-20