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Thursday, July 23, 2009

Stage 15 Wiggo is rocking the house

Please bear with my stream of consciousness.

So I finally have access to some live visual coverage of le Tour. Just in time for Stage 16. Le Grand and le Petit St. Bernard- first time this route has been used since 19-thirty-flippin-nine. As Sir Phil says “ It’s no walk in Chicago.” The final descent could be serious carnage. 99 miles- Andy is in white- Alberto is in yellow- Lance has basically quit (quitter) Even though Sir Paul of Sherwood just said that as LA “comes down the mountain watch out- kapow!” Is he saying LA is going to crash????? Or are he and Sir Phil still holding on to a shred of hope that LA can pull it off? Pffft!
Wiggo is truly a wild card in this here race! Who would have thought a dude used to flinging other dudes on a track could conquer these mountains with such strength and panache! Not to mention that he is a seriously funny dude. Apparently when team Garmin took a helicopter ride over the course yesterday, DZ was terrified. Wiggo’s comments like” We’re going down- Engine one is hit!” apparently didn’t alleviate DZ’s fears. Apparently he shat his trousers. Thanks god for DZ Nuts!
Still can’t believe the crap Garmin received for attacking on the day Big George was virtual yellow. Don’t get me wrong I totally heart George, but he’s a big boy- a pro- he knows how things roll. And after all is this pee wee soccer where “everyone wins” or is this a flippin’ competition??????? I actually received some hate mail at the VDV fan club site. By the way- Steve from Montana- you are an idiot.
As I have been relying on Twitter while in the back woods of Maine my thanks go to TdF Blog ittdf and helsy for keeping me in the loop. I must admit that my evil heart filled with glee and mirth when I learned of the Manx Mouth’s DQ the other day for pushing the God of Thunder! After saying “If the others want to win, they better stop racing like juniors.” It was a delight to see Mr. “I don’t have any cycling heroes” act like a 12 year old in the spring and get a thorough spanking from Thor!
Well let the stage begin! I will give my unbiased, truthful (as always) commentary in such a way as to offend no one.
Strong men Big Jens and Fab Fab appear to be trying to get some of their boys into the lead before the first ascent. Martin Maaskant (sp?) is right there with them.
Just saw an interview with squeaky voice cuddles. He thinks his mountain bike skills will help him make up the like 58 minutes he’s currently behind. Now they’re talking to Wiggo who says that he and VDV are going to work together and whoever has a good day and good legs will go for it. Wiggo attributes to his success to not being a lazy track rider anymore. No offense to Track riders- swear to goodness Wiggo said it- not me!
Holy Crap! 5 Cols tomorrow! Shazamm! Bye Bye Cav- Hello Andy! Just had my 1st Andy sighting in the peloton. Heard that Frank has marked this stage as his. Let’s see how that goes. Here’s the question of the day: How many water bottles can Sparticus fit inside his kit for the boys? What a fine job fab fab is doing supporting the Schlecksters in the mountains. Jensie’s face also says it all. The dude is an animal. I totally heart him!
Whoa- just saw a Japanese flag on the side of the road. Are they lost? Oh no that’s right there is still a Japanese rider in the race. Watching Pellozati now. I just can’t take my eyes away from that hair. He really looks like a poodle- don’t you think?
Quote of the day: Crashy crasherton (who I love)Frank Schleck on his crash last year on these very mountains- “I’m not going to say I would have won the stage that day, but I would have.” Broken English or too many hits on the head in crashes? You decide.
Also, do not discount Christian Vande Velde who is currently 12th in the GC. I’ve read some naysayers evil chatter that he is done now, but as he said “ look for some re-shuffling of the GC in the next couple of days!” Yes he had a not so great day, but the boy can ride mountains with the best. My dream is 2 Garmins on the podium or maybe a Schleck, a Garmin, and AC. Or maybe 2 Schlecks and a Garmin. I have a lot of dreams.
Here we go up the second climb (which is actually harder IMHO) Good to see a peloton led by SexyBank and Garmin, getting really sick of looking at Astana and listening to Phil and Paul sing the praises of the team from the land of Borat. Saw my second favorite hair boy (Pippo) leading the auto bus off the back. I really can’t decide if I like the frosted Jeri curls of Pozzato and Pelozatti or the mullet wearers. Both are equally bizarre and horrifying yet fascinating. Equally fascinating is the assortment of schloogs on the mountains. I think I just saw a dude dressed like a bunny rabbit draped in an Australian flag. I strongly believe that the gendarmes should be given permission to taser, shoot, or smack these idiots who run alongside the poor riders.
Woohoo! 21 miles to go and the lead group is led by Schlecks Wiggo and VDV! Lance just launched by Frank and Christian. Oh No! Please let his legs pop! Lance to the rescue for AC. Damn it!
OUCH! Nasty Crash for Big Jensie. Please let him be OK. Astana was probably sticking pins in the SexyBank and Garmin VooDoo dolls.

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