Whose Gloucester video is better?

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Silence Lotto's Evil Plan to Achieve World Domination Through Injuring Pro Cyclists

Well, Helen has me thinking again.........along the lines of conspiracies. You all know my feelings on Silence Lotto's premier rider....Cuddles.....ewwwwww. Well after Cadel's falling out with DS. Roberto Damiani (notice the likeness to the word DEMON) over whether or not he would ride the Giro (who cares.) SL has decided to put its evil eggs into multiple baskets. Namely, in today's Scheldeprijs where one of SL's evil minions, Greg Van Avermaet, took out many of our lovely boys in the final sprint, in a deliberate attempt to remove contenders from Cadel's (futile) quest for a TdF win. Silence Lotto obviously believes in human sacrifice, as the evil empire instructed Van A. to take out the peloton in the sprint finish. Like the truly brainwashed, suicide bomber he is, Van went like a lamb into the slaughterhouse in order to further "the cause" of the anti-snoring, pro-gambling dinks of darkness.

You might be able to keep Tommeke and Robbie down this week, Silence Lotto! But they will be back with their righteousness, and the Schleck brothers for the TdF to foil your evil plans for world domination. Keep fighting the good fight, boys. Fangirls of the Universe are behind you!

I do not know why the fonts in this post have gone so psychedelic, but I suspect that Silence Lotto has played a part in it.

I also cannot decide if I love Bunch Sprints or if I hate them. Too many choices......AAAARRRGGGGGHHH!


4 comments:

Maggie said...

I forgot to qualify this post by saying that yes, I realize that Boonen and McEwan are Sprinters/Classics Riders, and are therefore not the same type of rider as Cuddles.

But, you just wait until next month folks. I predict that Silence Lotto Kamikazes will be trying to chuck the Schlecks, Sastre, Contador, Valv, and VdV, off of cliffs in Italy.

MARK MY WORDS!

sansen said...

It seems many cycling fans are getting infected with conspiracy theories these days...

Maggie said...

conspiracy theories rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Helen said...

Indeed, conspiracies are part of how I roll :p
And yes, i believe Van A was just testing plans to take down other riders. If they hurt the Schlecks or Alberto I'm coming for them!