Whose Gloucester video is better?

Sunday, December 6, 2009

A bittersweet end of 'cross seaon

Tis with sadness that we bid farewell to this year's season of New England 'Cross. Yes there is a race next weekend, but we're both done as you can see by the commentary at the beginning of this latest video extravaganza.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Don't know how long this will be available SO WATCH IMMEDIATELY!

Starring J-Pow, Jamey Driscoll, Tim Johnson, Barry Wicks and Ryan Trebon. I'm sorry but I think I just peed my pants!!!!!!!
Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Monday, November 16, 2009

USGP Of Cyclocross Round 6 - Mercer Cup: Elite Men, Route Maps & Results | Cyclingnews.com

USGP Of Cyclocross Round 6 - Mercer Cup: Elite Men, Route Maps & Results | Cyclingnews.com

Notice how Trebon slags the East Coast yet again.

“I’m looking forward to going into Portland in the lead and it’s not going to be 70 degrees and sunny. It will probably be 35 and pouring rain.”

Ummm Hello.......Can you say Gloucester, Mercer Day 1, Northampton?

Sunday, November 15, 2009

East Coast V. West Coast (did I mention Mud?)USGP Mercer 2009er

Freakishly tall, classless, henceforth referred to as "Mr. Arrogance" Ryan Trebon (above) posted the following to his Twitter account prior to Mercer "You all know what lame eastcoast racing stuff I'm talking about, dont kid yourselves. Or maybe you have to be a westcoaster to understand" Let's talk about Mr Arrogance. Yes he won Day 1, but here are some personal observations. 1) I saw him peeing right outside his Kona van. Yes I did! And, there was a fully functional, lovely actual men's room facility less than 30 feet away. ewwwww! 2) When I approached him and said good luck even though you are a big trash-talker, he was eating some noodly kind of thing and his response was incomprehensible as he spit large chunks of pre-chewed noodles in my direction. Didn't your mama teach you not to talk with your mouth full, Mr. Arrogance. Barry Wicks was just in the van laughing. I *heart* Barry Wicks because he loves all things Harry Potter and Hermione in particular.

Adam Meyerson Rocks because he has kept the CycleSmart Verge Northampton Race up and running for 19 years! Jon also tells me that does a killer Cross workshop. He placed 15th on day one. Pretty good for a 37-yr-old geezer!

Above is Danny Summerhill fromm the Garmin Felt/Holowesky U23 Squad. Watch out for this kid! He was 6th overall on Day 1 and 1st for the U23s. Looked at his resume. Primarily a 'Cross dude, but has done a few RR and has performed well. Creepy sideburn boy is obviously grooming him for the pro team.

The dreamy Jesse Anthony didn't have a great day. 44th overall. Haven't checked how he did yesterday, but I hope it was improvement. The only thing I checked to see was that Tim Johnson kicked Mr. Arrogant's ass! I really hope this whole rivalry thing doesn't turn too ugly. Remember Tupac?

Now it's time to talk MUDDD!!! There is no way to describe Mercer mud, but I'll give it my best shot. First off, there are many variations in the mud on the course. Predominantly this kind; imagine, if you will, chunky peanut butter mixed with DW40, ground up grass clippings and earthworms. Yes, earthworms. The guy's bike (above) wasn't furry and brown when he took it off his roof rack. And that dude was only ONE lap into the race. The pros were doing A LOT of pit changes.

The other type of mud is more like quicksand. I inadvertently stepped into some of that when I was trying to scream at Jon that he was 12th at the time and needed to bridge a 20 second gap to the lead group. Luckily, I was wearing waterproof boots. However, as I tried to extract my foot from the glop it did come right off. The boot that is. It was fun getting it back on.

Above is Jon getting "Jake the Snake" ready for Day 1. Looks like grass doesn't it? It's not! It's grass floating on top of a sea of mud. I lost count of the number of cars, vans, trucks, and camels that were spinning their wheels just trying to park.

Funny story: The dreamy Jesse Anthony and his brother pulled in around noon. His little Honda or whatever it was immediately got stuck in the killer mud. Spin Spin Forward Reverse. His little bro and I valiantly pushed him backwards so that he could get up enough speed to get through the viscous goo. Actually, I wasn't much of a help as I was holding my coffee with one hand and pushing with the other. I did get a muddy high five though.

Another funny story: Did you know Tim Johnson (above) stays at cheap hotels just like we do? Saturday morning I'm out loading the car (part of my pit crew duties) and I see this dood picking up poop from a lovely chocolate lab. Being me I go over and strike up a conversation. Yes it was Timmy Johnson and yes he picks up his own dog's poop. He said he had to sneak her in and we talked about all the angles of sneaking dogs in to hotels as I have to do that with the pugs on occasion. Wished him luck and the dog jumped into my car. Told him she could come with us, but she decided to go with dad. GO TJ! SO HAPPY YOU KICKED FREAKISHLY TALL, CLASSLESS, MR. ARROGANT'S BUTT ON DAY 2!!!
Above- Troy Wells- The younger of the brothers was running a kiddie Workshop on Friday. We caught him showing the rugrats how to bunny hop the barriers. Troy did well on Day 1 placing 13th. Brother Todd placed 10th. On day 2 Todd podiumed with 3d place.

All in all a great weekend as usual! Unfortunately, we had to blast early on Sunday because Jon has a wicked toothache. I told him to get that root canal the last time he was at the dentist, but does he listen to me?

Now for my Lamo video production that encapsulates the spirit of the race, the conditions, and me booing Ryan Trebon.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

CycleSmart International November 7, 2009 Or The Jeremy Powers' Show

I stole this entry from my hubby Jon. It was his experience on Saturday. You also may want to check out Adam Meyerson's blog which totally rocks. Adam is the dude who has been putting this event on for the past NINETEEN YEARS!

So Saturday was my birthday, and I can now officially race in the 45+ geezer class. Yep, 45 on Saturday, and a 10th place finish as a present to myself. Those geezers are fast and really know how to ride. They never let up.
It's amazing how much confidence has to do with it. As I've had some good results lately, I start to realize that I deserve to be there, and that all my hard work and "training" is paying off. But confidence is only part of the equation. I've definitley been feeling strong and have been getting a lot better at chasing, attacking and recovering along with just plain riding faster. I'm a little slow to pick up on the strategy part though.
On Saturday I didn't get a great start, but through the first three laps I managed to ride up to a group that was basically the "chase" group to the leaders and had some fast riders in it. The next few laps I noticed that I was faster than them through the sand, which was only a quarter lap to the finish. I knew all I had to do was not blow it this last time through the sand and I had 'em. When I hit the grass they were ahead of me, but the thing with riding vs. running is that you usually have the major advantage of acceleration, which I did and never looked back.
Hey, 10th isn't that good, but I'm getting closer.
Sunday was a real fun race. The course was quite a bit more turny, but still really fast. Again, not a great start, but I worked up through the group. I caught up to Nyberg in about 8th or 9th place but he wasn't having any of it and left me in the dust. just as we settled into a group, I clipped my pedal on a root while trying to take my super secret line and went down. There goes the group. I think that was my first fall of the season. I didn't think I would catch back on but I did and even managed to beat all but two of the guys in the group. I finished 13th and managed to move back up to 20th overall for the series. I'm looking forward to Mercer next weekend, for the racing and the chance to spend some time with our daughter and J-dog (sup).

Monday, November 9, 2009

Monday, November 2, 2009

19th Annual West Hill Shop CX Race 2009

So this is like the longest continuously running 'Cross Race on the East Coast. I think there might be one that is tied, but I can't remember where. Correct me if I'm wrong. These dudes know how to run a CX race! We had a great day. Jon got 3d and can now upgrade to Cat 2, Jerry got 5th and this was only his 2nd CX race. He's a Mtn Bike dood predominantly. Paul dropped out cuz he was having a hissy fit or sumpin'.

I especially like the face plant at the beginning of the video. I think I am going to make that my trademark with regard to videography of 'Cross events. Here's a personal message that was sent to me on youtube RE: the face plant. Of course I said no prob!
Putney video
Putney video
So I'm from Cannondale and we're all stoked with your video. Reason? The dude who crashed on lap 1 is our marketing director and we can't get enough of giving him crap about it. Is there some way I can get the original clip of him biting it? We would put it on a loop and open up every day with a viewing!

thanks !


Next week it's back to the Verge Series in Northampton, MA. Week after Gran Prix Mercer Cup. Wooty Woot! Cyclocross season is the bestest!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Me on a typical fall weekend

photo: Steven Yau
Hartford 'Cross 10-25-09

I'm the one with the clipboard looking all official and everything. Jon is the rider looking like he is about to cough up a lung. He came in 2nd in a field of about 30. Go Jon! He says he wants to cross the finish line with his arms up in the air one day. It could happen. Dave Hildebrand says it will.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Mansfield Hollow Cross 10-19-09

Jon came in 2nd in his cat woo hoo! This is a super fun race. Kind of sucked being at the finish line all day though.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Probably the most unfortunate kit I have ever seen

So at the last few 'Cross races I have attended/officiated I have noticed a new club/team sponsored by Geek House Bikes. As our friend Wayne says, "That is a very unfortunate kit."

It's hard to really comprehend the hideosity of this kit, the abomination that is actually is through these mere images. Imagine about 50 people all together dressed in this kit, also wearing the hat below. At Gloucester in the pouring rain, they glowed like a nuclear reactor being handled by Homer Simpson.

At first, I was so shocked that I almost thought that I should like these kits. They certainly do stand out. Additionally, the fact that their bikes ACTUALLY match the atrocious kit is kind of cool. I even told an acquaintance who was sporting one that perhaps it would grow on me. It hasn't. Today, at Mansfield Hollow Cross, where I was scoring not spectating *sigh* there was a GeekHouse dude in the Cat 1-2-3. The last race of the day when the officials and the fans are a little slap happy. The dude was in a bit of a spring with a Hup dude. A spectator shouted, "C'mon man! You can't let that freak show in a clown suit catch you!" We all about peed our pants laughing! Very unofficial of us, but OMG! Look at this nightmare! I gotta get a close up pic at the next race of a few of them fully kitted with the ugly hat and the funny shoes and all.

Until then, let me know your thoughts on this kit. Retro/cool- that this fangirl just doesn't get? Or, the product of an LSD/Crack induced nightmare?

Friday, October 16, 2009

Grand Prix of Gloucester Day 1

Kind of a documentary I guess. We had a great time with Nikki, J-Pow- and tons of other awesome people. Jon is working on the Day 2 pro race right now.

Nick Wilson Memorial Bike/Skate Park

Nick Wilson was my nephew. He was EOD (explosive ordinance removal) for the U.S. Navy. I always called him the bomb sniffing dog. He was in the elitist of the elite units. They would go in before the president spoke anywhere if they were in country and make sure all was good.

He was in his second Tour in Iraq. Nick was 25 years old and passionate and an expert in his field. The terrorists had just come up with rigging Explosives to detonate with cell phones from a distance. Nick was approaching a bomb for disposal and a terrorist watched his approach and deliberately killed Nick and blinded his comrade who was behind him.

We've been trying to get this bike/skate park going for a few years. Many thanks to NIKE, the kid who wrote the essay and everyone who helped and contributed to this skate park. We love you Nick.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Even though I'm still not a fan

photo: Nikki
of Jonathan Page. Check out this analysis by Adam Meyerson from CycleSmart. Adam is a seasoned pro and a pretty smart dude. The "crash heard round the word" was a bit of a sucker punch by TJ. Adam goes on to explain why my boy J-Pow is so awesome and popular in and our of the peloton. J-Pow is just a classy dude. For him to pose as an airport ninja with this old broad gives him some points in my book.

Please look at "the sandpit" vid in super slo-mo and let me know your thoughts in the poll on the right.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Not a Fan

Well I imagine I'll get some flames for this one, but I just can't get behind Jonathan Page. The dude is a great 'Cross rider- don't get me wrong, but he's kind of whiney IMHO. Met him in Gloucester and he was nice enough, although I was of course rooting for my boys J-Pow, TJ, and Jamey Driscoll. Also my husband's buds, Ricky and Matt- who were lapped of course.

Anyhow, watch these videos in order. The first Jonathan Page disses the doods in Cross Vegas. Calls them Lame. The second shows TJ and Jonathan Page bobbling in the sand pit on Day 2 of 2009 Gloucester. If I'm not mistaken I hear the word motherf*****. Not that there's anything wrong with cursing at a 'Cross race. BTW- I seriously miss Monkey man who has been replaced by Gordan's Fisherman dood holding a giant flag with a picture of a goat head and a trash can.

Moving on the second to last vid shows Jonathan Page whining in the post race interview of Day 2 Gloucester where he was the middle of a Cyclocross World Cannondale sandwich between TJ and J-Pow- with Jamey coming in 4th.

Finally, check out the J-Pow post-race interview. His view of the events seems a bit more realistic to me. After all Cyclocross IS about bumping and grinding. Also had to stick this in because I *heart* J-Pow and it's always hilarious when he sings.

Let me know your thoughts. You know how much I value them.

Cycling Videos on CyclingDirt

Cycling Videos on CyclingDirt

Cycling Videos on CyclingDirt

Cycling Videos on CyclingDirt

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I have not forgotten........


Is still the Best Bike Racer in the Universe........

He LET AC win!!!!!!!

Thanks for reminding me, H.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Lars Boom is gonna win Paris-Roubaix

Here's what I have to say.

First of all, how can Lars Boom be "The Condor?" I mean I know he's like 6'2" and everything, but isn't Gesink already "The Condor?" So is there like Condor 1 and Condor 2 or something?

Now onto Boom Boom. The kid is amayyyyzing! Maybe not the best climber or anything, but I def see him as a one day specialist.......including the Hell of the North....Paris-Roubaix.

The focus this dude had in the Vuelta today was beyond his tender 23 years! He rode it like an ITT! No soft pedaling here. That's not how World Champions roll. You heard? Aaiight?

The dude can ride 'Cross so he doesn't just talk the talk IMHO. Listen to the song below and check the vid and tell me this dude does not rock!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The top 10 Reasons Why I Be Hatin' On Cav

photo: Casey B. Gibson ToM stage 2 9-8-09

  1. He says he is the fastest man in the world.
  2. He is the fastest man in the world (for some reason #s 1 and 2 make me want to bang my head against the wall.)
  3. He worships the ground that Erik Zabel treads upon...bleegggh!
  4. He got all Emo when he heard Big George was going to BMC next year. Yeah right...now he won't have the most awesomest best leadout dude in the biz working for him anymore. We know you are emotionless Mr. Man from Mann!
  5. He has an antagonistic relationship with Mr. Lovelylocks, crash your race car in Monaco, Filippo Pozzato. Who can't love this permed, frosted, italian speed freak?
  6. Just look at him.
  7. He just plain wins too much. Kind of takes away the fun for me. It's like "oh Cav's racing- might as well just watch "How it's Made."
  8. He's British and even my British friend doesn't like him. That's gotta say something about his character. I have no idea what that something is, but something.
  9. He got pissed at my boy Wiggo when he went out and got trashed after winning a track event at the 'lympics. Deal with it sonny boy. Just because Wiggo is your countryman doesn't mean he has to put down the Jim Beam for you!
  10. He's a "trash talking fire hydrant from the Isle of Mann" Go put that in your tubulars and smoke it Manx Mouth!
Yeah Yeah I know I'm trash talking too. He can come over here if he wants me to get all up in his grill! I'll take him on head to head with My Surley- bells, cards in spokes and all! You just name the day Mr. Cavendish. I'll be ready!

Monday, September 7, 2009

Cycling fans are pumped up, but Tour of Missouri is on life support - Kansas City Star

OMG! Save the Tour of Missouri People!

Cycling fans are pumped up, but Tour of Missouri is on life support - Kansas City Star

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Gotta Love Jens FA Voigt!

Here's what Jens has to say about Cav and the ToM. Man-o-Man I Love Jensie!!

Saxo Bank’s Jens Voigt has a novel suggestion to keep Cavendish from winning more than one stage. “How about he wins the first stage tomorrow, and then takes the motorbike, jumps on it and keeps riding route 66. “ said Voigt as we learned that the winner of the first stage gets a Buell 1125R motorcycle. “How about that?”

How about that Fans?

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Andy leaves Vuelta Sick; Vino says "Jak Sie Masz!"

Andy Schleck leaves the Vuelta today just 88K into a 204K mountain stage! According to Andy he hasn't been able to eat anything ever since "Vino" Vinokourov gave him an energy bar in stage 7. Poisoning is suspected, but nothing can be proven as you can't exactly "dust for vomit" (Spinal Tap) Could the villainous Vino have done such a reprehensible thing to our young Andy just weeks before Worlds? And could Andy have been so naive as to have accepted "candy from this strange(dude)?"

Vino could not be reached for comment. Something fishy about a superstar cyclist who protects his Twitter updates if you ask me!

I mean I do and everything, but I'm just a regular kind of person and all and who really wants to see my tweets anyway?

He did say this to Cycling News "Jak sie Masz" which apparently means go Eff yourself in Kazakh. Vino is from Kazakhstan, BTW, the world's largest exporter of potassium. Could the potassium cartel be involved in this nefarious scheme to thwart the Universe's Best
Bike Racer?

Question for the reader: what is one of the main ingredients in energy bars? Potassium!
'Nuff said

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Stage 4 Vuelta Garmin Guys

photo: Sirotti

Do I even need to add a comment here?

Boom Boom Boom

Yes Lars Boom the man of the Golden Mullet is knocking my argyle socks off with his performance in the Vuelta. He's got the bike handling skills of a chanpion Cross rider AND the power of a GC contender. I'm floored. Yes, today's stage (4) was total carnage, a literal meat grinder! BUT, Boom Boom is used to that from not only Spring Classics, BUT from his incredible Cyclocross skills!

Put it this way: Jens Voigt has pure power, right? And Danny MacAskill has serious bike handling skills, right? Well if those two had a baby, it would be LARS BOOM! It would also be really weird if those two had a baby, not to mention the identity issues associated with having 2 dads.

The power of the mullet!!!!!!! Feel bad for Chris Horner. What a crap year he's had, eh?
That crash at the roundabout took out EVERYBODY! Unbelievable.
PS: I think the mullet is only for 'Cross season as Boom Boom seems to be sans mullet by my estimation for the Vuelta.

Now you must listen to this song in honor of mullet man of the Vuelta 2009---LARS BOOM!!!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Tommeke: Just another consumer.....

Agence France Presse - file photo

If your thing is gone and you wanna ride on; cocaine.
Dont forget this fact, you cant get it back; cocaine.
She dont lie, she dont lie, she dont lie; cocaine.

She dont lie, she dont lie, she dont lie; cocaine. ~ Eric Clapton

So the lovely Tommeke has to pay a 1000 euros and is being treated as "just another consumer of drugs." The powers that be have decided not to make an example of Tommy Boy. To me this is OK. It's not OK that Tommeke appears to suffer from addiction, but it is OK that they will call off the villagers with the torches and scythes and such. Let the dude ride his bike. Eventually, he will either deal with his addiction or it will bring him down. Hopefully the former. So what does this mean for pro cycling? Who the hell knows. What does it mean for Tommeke? He won't be able to consume the few grams that 1000 euros would buy. Do you think he's going to stop snorting? I don't know. Good luck to Tommeke.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Here's what I like to see!

photos: Bart Hazen

Surfer dude, multi-lingual, as fast if not faster than Manx Mouth- Tyler Farrar on the podium with a bunch of Argyle clad skinny boys leading the peloton. Go Tyler- killing Eneco! Go Garmin! Love you Argyle clad fellas.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Rumors, Allegations, and other balderdash

My paparazzi sources have been keeping a close eye on what will be happening to all of our favorite boys ( and those who are not so much) After all September is coming quick and contracts may be made, broken, or put out on some riders (you feel me?)

Johan Bruyneel and Sir Lance the Mellow Yellow wristband producer were seen recently at the dining establishment above. Apparently it was a clandestine meeting deciding the future roster and nefarious plans of the new team CrapShack- purveyor of electronic items that break within one week. Lance had the scallops BTW. Hope that cook washed his hands since last night.

My sources followed Bruyneel and Sir Lance who were riding in the above vehicle. This indicates an additional sponsor for the new team of good ole boys. (The slogan on the back window reads: Body Piercing Saved my Life) As you can see deals have been made with the Obama administration to purchase all of the "Klunkers" to use as team cars. Not right! Appropriate for a boy from the great state of Texas IMHO. Sources close to the team say that body piercing is effective in treating some types of cancer. Piercings will also allow Bruyneel and Lance to lead the rest of the roster around by the noses, and will work well when connected via a chain during TTTs.

Random plug: Anyway, buy this portrait of young Aniken Schleck from my friend Rob Ijbema Painting le Tour. Mention my name and I'm sure he'll double the price for you. Just kidding, Rob is awesome.

Listen, according to another blogger (if it's on the internet it must be true right?) Andy S. was the FIRST rider in the pro peloton that sir Lance the Magnificent schmoozed to try to buy into Crapshack. The skinny Luxembourger emphatically states that Lance can go "know" himself (in the Biblical sense- you hear me?) And that he ain't leaving Uncle Bjarne, Fab Fab, Jensie, and of course, his doppelganger, Frank.

However, rumors still fly and they are also quite fun. What if crapshack offered Andy 300 KABILLION US dollars? Would that change the sitch? What if they offered to bring Frankie along for a KABILLION dollars as well. The man from Texas has money to burn. Would Andy be happy playing second fiddle in Lance's traveling Bluegrass show? Does Frank even know how to play the mouth harp, spoons, or jug? IDK? I doubt it, but never say never people.

On another note: what will happen to AC with the villainous villain Vino vying vigorously for team leader of Astana? Would Vino sink so low as to pull a Tanya Harding on AC? One would like to have more confidence in humanity, but Astana hasn't exactly been the most supportive team for most of their riders (def a few exceptions for you know who and his cronies)

Anywho, here are my guesses for the Crapshack Roster- some are verified- some are pure conjecture on my part. You can figure out verified V conjecture on your own. You are smart folks.

  1. Emperor Lance
  2. Popo
  3. The littlest robot
  4. Mini Phinney
  5. George Hincapie
  6. Alberto Contador (NOT)
  7. Cadel Evans
  8. Andreas Kloden
  9. Chris Horner
  10. Mick Rogers
Help me Come up with 18 more dudes to fill out this roster folks. I might even throw a couple of Garmin Argyle Water Bottles in the direction of the people who come up with the most correct names. That's a great prize! Throw me a bone and send your thoughts to mtarbox20@gmail.com. I will calculate your answers to the final roster when it is released.


Friday, August 7, 2009

Stage 17 TdF

I heart this picture. Don't you? source Look and Smile Please Look how Happy Andy is for his bro!!!!!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Please help Sansen develop FAQ about cycling


Submit your lame, ludicrous, yet meaningful questions here and Sansen will consult her crystal ball on the summer solstice and provide answers.

2009 San Sebastián Live Video, Route, Preview, Teams, Results, Photos

Check it yo

2009 San Sebastián Live Video, Route, Preview, Teams, Results, Photos

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Flippin' Hilarious interview with the Bros Schleck

Anke found this one. Hilarious! Who knew Andy's middle name was Raymond? I didn't. Didn't catch Frank's middle name.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Dear AC, Save the Drama for Your Mama

Oh boy- I am going to be getting some hatin' for this post, but what should be said will be said, even if I shouldn't say it. Alberto Contador has lost his flavor for this fan girl. I am talking personality-wise, not bike-riding-wise. I have to admit that although I knew of the tensions on Team Borat, I assumed that most were caused by Mr. Super Ego Armstrong and his Guinea Pig Rescuing minion who is married to Odessa Gunn. Now, however, the other shoe has dropped. Literally, it fell off my foot and now one of the pugs is chewing on it.

Now you can look at the news from Cyclingnews and Velonews and draw some conclusions and ask some questions. First off, is this just sensasionalist sensationalism about the LA dispute with the sensational Spaniard? Is this just part two of the Lance dog and pony show? Or does Contador truly hate the man from Texas (and his own team)? After all he did deny Kloden's chance of a podium position as he played with the lovely Schleck brothers on the Col de la Colombière. Was this an innocent act on his part? Or, an attempt at world domination and screwing his own team?

Did you know that the human brain is not fully developed until age 25? I did. Let's all remember that AC is a youngster at age 26. The kid dropped out of high school to ride his bike for god's sake, so I think it's safe to say he's probably about as sharp as a bowling ball. So, like the Manx Mouth, he probably does engage mouth before brain is in gear on occasion. But if you look at this article of the press conference that was translated by someone WHO ACTUALLY SPEAKS SPANISH you might detect a different tone. Still not exactly a glowing recommendation of Lance, but not the "CONTADOR RIPS LANCE (a new arsehole)!" headlines of some other news sources.

However, and I can't back this with any evidence so don't ask me to. I clearly remember a Versus interview with Conty at the beginning of the Tour where he said that Lance was his hero growing up. So, if my memory is correct, then we can indeed accuse Contador of lying. Liar Liar Pants on Fire! Additionally, you can watch this vid of senile Sir Phil to get his insights on Contador's psychological make-up. Sir Phil works for the FBI in the off season as a serial killer profiler. The gist is that in Sir Phil's opinion (which is Lance biased and would marry Lance if Lance would have him) Contador is not a team player who races for himself.

Personally, I have lost some respect for Contador not so much because of all the soap opera drama. More so because I don't really like his squeaky voice. As for getting all PO'd because the silly French played the Danish National Anthem. Hey- laugh it off. They're dumb (and mean). Call me a bigot if you must, but What Danish rider could have possibly won? It was a stupid blunder, yes. But in the grand scheme of things- come on Alberto, you've won 4 grand tours. We all concede that as a cyclist you totally rock, so deal with it.

To wrap things up; this little soap opera is quite boring, but what the hey I might as well throw my 3 cents in. After all, it is my blog. Andy Schleck remains the best bike racer in the universe! Only reason he didn't get first is because he was trying to help his bro, Frankie.

Also, any truth to the rumors I heard wafting around the bike shop yesterday that Andy might join team Cheap Electronics that break in a week? I can't imagine the brothers separating and I can't imagine him riding in a support role for any one any more. But who knows in the world of intrigue that is cycling???? BTW- didn't Andy look cute on the podium?

Friday, July 24, 2009


Sirotti via SteepHill

Everybody must get Schlecked.
So did you hear that Cuddles might sign on with Radio Shack? Will he be Lance's bitch do you think? Sorry to see the mouth from Manx won today. Even though he has NO CHANCE of getting green in Paris Podium. Also, some moron radio announcer called him the fastest man in the world after today's stage. HELLO! Who is wearing Green right now and who will be wearing green (with no stain- despite Cav's snarkiness) in Paris??? Thor- the God of Thunder- that's who!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Stage 16- OMG! We lost Jens and someone killed Kenny!

Stage 17 Rain, Fatigue, and Mountains
First off, Cadel still sucks (really really really) Can’t wait to hear what the whiny excuse will be. Andy the Magnificent is currently in 5th (I imagine this will change when Lancey pops in the mountains today.) Wiggo- the biggest surprise of the tour for this fan girl is in 3d! That is one funny dude as well as a bloke (as my friend Helen might say if she said such things) who can ride a bike! Brother Frank is not far behind and VDV went back up to top 10! VDV is sooo the dude. He basically says he’ll support Wiggo for the podium. Now that is a team player.
Holy Cow the Green Jersey of the God of Thunder is with the leaders. Go Thor. Keep that Green Jersey out of the greedy, nasty hands of Cav- whose latest waaaa is this “ If you win that Green Jersey (Thor) in France it will have a stain on it.” What a baby. Dude the officials’ word is the word. Handle it, learn from it, and don’t cry about it. Hah- Thor is killing the front in stage 17. It would take a natural disaster, act of god, or serious crash to put the Manx Mouth back into green. But as Thor himself is a god I highly doubt any of those things will happen.
OMG- Sir Phil said the heli shot looking down looked like a “giant maggot.” He is seriously losing it. Help find a cure for alzheimers, donate to Levibot’s guinea pig rescue farm. Wonder how he feeds the rodents with only one hand. Actually feel a bit sorry for “The ‘Bot” he’s had a rough coupla years Tour-wise.
Word on the street is that Astana will be in shambles next year. Johan and the traveling Lanceberries will take their show on the road under a new name new sponsor. Hmmmmm….. Wonder what Vino thinks of this?
Tragedy struck Team SexyBank yesterday. The heart of the team, Jens Voigt, crashed out. A nasty spill that left him with wicked road rash, a broken cheekbone, and possible intercranial trauma. His team mates say he’s doing OK considering. In an interview yestrday some dumb ass reporter got Andy S. right after the race and immediately said. “ Great day for you, right Andy?” Andy’s response: “It was a horrible day dumb ass- (that was me by the way who said that) we lost Jens you idiot. (me again)”
Quote of the week: LA “ No one wanted George in yellow more than me.” Yo Lance! What’s the difference between you and god? When god wakes up in the morning, he doesn’t think he’s you! George might have wanted to see George in yellow more than you. LA also says that Big George isn’t talking to any one since the day he missed yellow by 5 sec. Let me splain you something, Lance. Maybe George is a pro who understands how competitions work. Maybe he just doesn’t want to talk to YOU, Lance Armstrong.
News Flash! Kenny Van Hummel has quit the Tour. He’s been in last place since like the first day. Today, However, he also crashed. Hope he’s OK. Those bastards killed Kenny! Hope he took out a few shloogs on the way down.

More on whining: Don’t get me wrong I love and respect Carlos Sastre. BUT…….How can he possibly (with a straight face and in good conscience) be complaining that the press isn’t giving him enough coverage and/or respect as the defending champion? His performance thus far has made his name…..basically a non sequitar (sp?) Today, he seems to be desperately trying to claw his way back into contention. Yesterday it was kind of funny when Sirs Paul and Phil kept calling the group off the back (the group I fondly call- THE LOSERS) as the Sastre and Cadel group. Even though Sastre wasn’t even in that group. Yet more proof that the British commentating duo are getting to be….. let’s say….. a few sandwiches short of a complete picnic.
Now I see Andy and VDV at the back of the main group. Uh oh! Frankie seems to be having the better day of the bros. Frank attacks! I wish he wouldn’t constantly keep looking over his shoulder. First of all, given his record, he’ll probably crash. Second, he has to look right in the mug of Lance. Actually maybe that’s a good thing. Frank will sprint away in horror. Unless he wants Lance to tweet something for him. VDV is dropping off the back. Totally bummer. Andy just passed AC! He saw Wiggo and LA almost crash into each other and took advantage of the sitch and took off! Woot (sorry Helen) I knew the boy was playing possum. Unfortunately, I think Wiggo may have cracked. Come on Wiggo! VDV is sticking with him- trying to get him to bridge the gap between their group and the Schlecksters! VDV is a champ! The Garmin boys are about 35 sec back before the descent and then the final climb. What a dilemma….. Guess I’ll stick with my Schlecks even though the Garmin love is still strong! Tomorrow- the ITT will decide. I think my Schlecks are a bit leery of Wiggo and others in the ITT. Also, they’re a bit unsure of their own TT abilities. Wiggo is on Lance’s wheel now, trying to bridge the gap. Knew Lance was good for something. Thanks Lance.
OMG- Sir Phil just said “Lance is like a spring ready to pounce.” Who knew springs could pounce? I thought they just kind of went boing! He also just said “the four leaders are being chased by the four chasers.” Wow- think about that- it’s profound, really.Back to the Schlecks. Both have that Schlecky grin (or maybe a grimace of pain) that we have grown to know and love as they dance up the mountain.
On a final note in this stream of consciousness- Schlecks ruled the day- Wiggo has some time to make up tomorrow. AC is still pretty firmly in yellow. And finally, CADEL STILL SUCKS KANGAROO KNOBS!

Stage 15 Wiggo is rocking the house

Please bear with my stream of consciousness.

So I finally have access to some live visual coverage of le Tour. Just in time for Stage 16. Le Grand and le Petit St. Bernard- first time this route has been used since 19-thirty-flippin-nine. As Sir Phil says “ It’s no walk in Chicago.” The final descent could be serious carnage. 99 miles- Andy is in white- Alberto is in yellow- Lance has basically quit (quitter) Even though Sir Paul of Sherwood just said that as LA “comes down the mountain watch out- kapow!” Is he saying LA is going to crash????? Or are he and Sir Phil still holding on to a shred of hope that LA can pull it off? Pffft!
Wiggo is truly a wild card in this here race! Who would have thought a dude used to flinging other dudes on a track could conquer these mountains with such strength and panache! Not to mention that he is a seriously funny dude. Apparently when team Garmin took a helicopter ride over the course yesterday, DZ was terrified. Wiggo’s comments like” We’re going down- Engine one is hit!” apparently didn’t alleviate DZ’s fears. Apparently he shat his trousers. Thanks god for DZ Nuts!
Still can’t believe the crap Garmin received for attacking on the day Big George was virtual yellow. Don’t get me wrong I totally heart George, but he’s a big boy- a pro- he knows how things roll. And after all is this pee wee soccer where “everyone wins” or is this a flippin’ competition??????? I actually received some hate mail at the VDV fan club site. By the way- Steve from Montana- you are an idiot.
As I have been relying on Twitter while in the back woods of Maine my thanks go to TdF Blog ittdf and helsy for keeping me in the loop. I must admit that my evil heart filled with glee and mirth when I learned of the Manx Mouth’s DQ the other day for pushing the God of Thunder! After saying “If the others want to win, they better stop racing like juniors.” It was a delight to see Mr. “I don’t have any cycling heroes” act like a 12 year old in the spring and get a thorough spanking from Thor!
Well let the stage begin! I will give my unbiased, truthful (as always) commentary in such a way as to offend no one.
Strong men Big Jens and Fab Fab appear to be trying to get some of their boys into the lead before the first ascent. Martin Maaskant (sp?) is right there with them.
Just saw an interview with squeaky voice cuddles. He thinks his mountain bike skills will help him make up the like 58 minutes he’s currently behind. Now they’re talking to Wiggo who says that he and VDV are going to work together and whoever has a good day and good legs will go for it. Wiggo attributes to his success to not being a lazy track rider anymore. No offense to Track riders- swear to goodness Wiggo said it- not me!
Holy Crap! 5 Cols tomorrow! Shazamm! Bye Bye Cav- Hello Andy! Just had my 1st Andy sighting in the peloton. Heard that Frank has marked this stage as his. Let’s see how that goes. Here’s the question of the day: How many water bottles can Sparticus fit inside his kit for the boys? What a fine job fab fab is doing supporting the Schlecksters in the mountains. Jensie’s face also says it all. The dude is an animal. I totally heart him!
Whoa- just saw a Japanese flag on the side of the road. Are they lost? Oh no that’s right there is still a Japanese rider in the race. Watching Pellozati now. I just can’t take my eyes away from that hair. He really looks like a poodle- don’t you think?
Quote of the day: Crashy crasherton (who I love)Frank Schleck on his crash last year on these very mountains- “I’m not going to say I would have won the stage that day, but I would have.” Broken English or too many hits on the head in crashes? You decide.
Also, do not discount Christian Vande Velde who is currently 12th in the GC. I’ve read some naysayers evil chatter that he is done now, but as he said “ look for some re-shuffling of the GC in the next couple of days!” Yes he had a not so great day, but the boy can ride mountains with the best. My dream is 2 Garmins on the podium or maybe a Schleck, a Garmin, and AC. Or maybe 2 Schlecks and a Garmin. I have a lot of dreams.
Here we go up the second climb (which is actually harder IMHO) Good to see a peloton led by SexyBank and Garmin, getting really sick of looking at Astana and listening to Phil and Paul sing the praises of the team from the land of Borat. Saw my second favorite hair boy (Pippo) leading the auto bus off the back. I really can’t decide if I like the frosted Jeri curls of Pozzato and Pelozatti or the mullet wearers. Both are equally bizarre and horrifying yet fascinating. Equally fascinating is the assortment of schloogs on the mountains. I think I just saw a dude dressed like a bunny rabbit draped in an Australian flag. I strongly believe that the gendarmes should be given permission to taser, shoot, or smack these idiots who run alongside the poor riders.
Woohoo! 21 miles to go and the lead group is led by Schlecks Wiggo and VDV! Lance just launched by Frank and Christian. Oh No! Please let his legs pop! Lance to the rescue for AC. Damn it!
OUCH! Nasty Crash for Big Jensie. Please let him be OK. Astana was probably sticking pins in the SexyBank and Garmin VooDoo dolls.