Whose Gloucester video is better?

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Lars Boom is da bomb!

Now I've seen quite a few of our US pro Cyclocross dudes race; and I thought these guys were seriously fast! Well, a few of our boys are over in Europe competing in the Cross World championships, and they are getting their proverbial asses handed to them by the Europeans. Lars Boom and Sven Nys in particular are suspected (by me) of having super human strength. These guys are like flippin machines. For example, Sven Nys is the ATHLETE OF THE YEAR in Belgium. Not some soccer/football player, or any other type of ball sport type--a CYCLIST is the athlete of the year. They take their cycling seriously in Belgium! Huup!


Helen said...

Lars Boom has a name where you just need to shout and repeat the surname at various levels of loudness.. like BOOOOM BOOOM boom..
I think i'm losing it.
But they are pretty superhuman. As is Niels Albert when not injured.

Maggie said...

You're not losing it. It's an awesome name. mJon and I subscribed to cycling.tv, so we've been watching the World's. We have gotten pretty good at chanting Sven Nys and BOOOOOOMMMMMM.

Psyched for the subscription when the Road season starts.

Hey it's xmas where you are right now isn't it? Shouldn't you be in bed so Santa can come.

The Truth said...

I don't want to be rude or disrespectful, especially during this holiday season, and I really don't want to start an argument, but even Lars Boom must concede that by reveling in grammatically incorrect English, he slaughters our idiom and impoverishes our dialogue. For the sake of review, we must uplift individuals and communities on a global scale to rub his nose in his own hypocrisy. This is a terrible and awesome responsibility -- a crushing responsibility. However, if we stick together we can can show the world that there are lots of weepy, wimpy flower children out there who are always whining that I'm being too harsh in my criticisms of Lars. I wish such people would wake up and realize that I, speaking as someone who is not a stingy slumlord, oppose Lars's strictures because they are irritating. I oppose them because they are scornful. And I oppose them because they will promote pathological ideologies such as emotionalism, faster than you can say "microclimatological".

Lars's precepts are rife with contradictions and difficulties; they're completely malodorous, meet no objective criteria, and are unsuited for a supposedly educated population. And as if that weren't enough, today, we might have let Lars advocate ridiculous arguments. Tomorrow, we won't. Instead, we will demonstrate conclusively that Lars should be in better control of his hormones. Nice try to rally for a cause that is completely void of moral, ethical, or legal validity, Lars. In general, I have often maintained that reasonable people can reasonably disagree. Unfortunately, when dealing with Lars and his collaborators, that claim assumes facts not in evidence. So let me claim instead that Lars has been trying to conceal his plans to reduce social and cultural awareness to a dictated set of guidelines to follow. Fortunately, the truth about his frowzy, depraved hariolations is spreading like a jungle fire. Soon, everyone will know that every time Lars utters or writes a statement that supports priggism -- even indirectly -- it sends a message that mysticism and prætorianism are identical concepts. I believe that we mustn't let him make such statements, partly because I have nothing more to say on that issue, but primarily because he is like a stray pigeon. Pigeons are too self-absorbed to care about anyone else. They poo on people they don't like; they poo on people they don't even know. The only real difference between Lars and a pigeon is that Lars intends to usher in the beginning of a self-pitying new era of antagonism. That's why I don't know if Lars is consciously and purposely evil or merely chthonic. I do know, however, that the point is that if everyone spent just five minutes a day thinking about ways to examine his worldview from the perspective of its axiology (values) and epistemology (ways of knowing), we'd all be a lot better off. Is five minutes a day too much to ask for the promise of a better tomorrow? I hope not, but then again, the problem with Lars is not that he's nit-picky. It's that he wants to increase subservience to his monolithic engine of unilateralism.

Maybe in the near future, Lars will demonstrate an outright hostility to law enforcement. Moonstruck predictions aside, this would not be an impossible scenario if his infantile, jaded recommendations were to gain ascendancy in our society. I don't believe that children don't need as much psychological attentiveness, protection, and obedience training as the treasured household pet. So when Lars says that that's what I believe, I see how little he understands my position. If there's a rule, and he keeps making exceptions to that rule, then what good is the rule? I mean, if I said that rabid cozeners aren't ever stultiloquent, I'd be a liar. But I'd be being entirely honest if I said that if Lars were as bright as he thinks he is, he'd know that if he bites me I will honestly bite back. Lars Boom could really use a heart, just like the tin man in The Wizard of Oz. May we never forget this if we are to deny Lars and his proxies a chance to blitz media outlets with faxes and newsletters that highlight the good points of Lars's callous tractates. Let's just leave it at that my cycling friends.

~The Truth~

Maggie said...

Somebody was let out on their Christmas furlough from the funny farm again.

sansen said...

The trolls, like the truth, are out there!

Maggie said...

Wait til he sees my post on Sven Nys. His Lithium is going to have to be upped big time.

BTW- thanks for the nice card. You Rock!

sansen said...

You're just happy I didn't send a card with Chickenman on it, eh?