Whose Gloucester video is better?

Monday, November 10, 2008

Someone want to 'splain me something?

Someone want to tell me why Dan Martin (a fine young Irish lad after me own heart) had to wait in LINE to get his Best Young Rider's Jersey at the Tour of (Irish Haters) Portugal? I mean....just look at how ticked he looks as he waits in line with a bunch of stuck-up podium girls who are also in line to get their new bouquets. Either that or he's never been around so many hot chicks and he's thinking "ZOMG! Should I ask one for a date? But they're all like 6 inches taller and 20 lbs heavier than I am. Maybe I'll just stand here looking nonplussed.....but I really want that Jersey....and I really think the twins in the red mini-skirts would totally dis me if I started talking to them. And why is that black guy with the headset staring at me. Holy crap! I really need to talk to Allen Lim!"

disclaimer: the author in this blog has nothing against: the Portugese people, podium girls, twins, or black guys with headsets.


Helen said...

I guess that's how things go down in smaller tours. However, all riders queue for podium things, so maybe someone just snapped this at an unfortunate time?

Something tells me he'll become much more used to queuing for podium presentations..

sansen said...

Maybe they are waiting in line to use the bathroom.

bridget said...

Hahaha good idea Sansen, could very well be true :D

Probably an unfortunate time!

The Truth said...

I am writing this letter rather reluctantly. I do not wish to begin an incendiary debate about Dan Martin's hijinks. However, Dan has recently made a few statements that I find disturbing to such a degree that I cannot remain silent. The points I plan to make in this letter will sound tediously familiar to everyone who wants to pave the way for people of every sex, race, and socioeconomic status to fulfill their own spiritual destiny. Nevertheless, his secret passion is to provoke terrible, total, universal, and merciless destruction. For shame! If you can go more than a minute without hearing him talk about revanchism, you're either deaf, dumb, or in a serious case of denial.

Although since their emergence on the stage of history, aberrant, wily degenerates have been a parasitic growth on the stem of true citizens, it is also true that he has an amazing ability to disengage his intellect. This is a perverse paradox, the implications of which are too misinformed to dwell on short of saying that the biggest supporters of Dan's sex-crazed, smarmy conclusions are dour drongos and the most materialistic sluggards you'll ever see. A secondary class of ardent supporters consists of ladies of elastic virtue and cosmopolitan tendencies to whom such things afford a decent excuse for displaying their fascinations at their open windows.

I don't mean to scare you, but today, we might have let Dan glorify the most dim-witted weasels you'll ever see. Tomorrow, we won't. Instead, we will present a noble vision of who we were, who we are, and who we can potentially be. Make special note of that point because I am truly at a loss for words when he asserts that poxy, besotted swaggerers have dramatically lower incidences of cancer, heart attacks, heart disease, and many other illnesses than the rest of us. He can't possibly be serious. I suspect that the real story here is that Dan is totally longiloquent, as he has proved to my complete satisfaction. I'll give you an example of this, based on my own experience. As you know, he says that the most valuable skill one can have is to be able to lie convincingly. This is at best wrong. At worst, it is a lie. That's all for this letter. For those that don't like my views, get over it. I suspect that I have as much a right to my views, and to express them, as anyone else. So when I say that when one looks at this unenlightened parade of directionless pissants, one instantly thinks of the word "homeotransplantation", you can agree with me or not. That's all there is to it.

~ The Truth ~

Maggie said...

Hey there 'the truth'

You are pretty longiloquent yourself there buddy.

I have personally participated in studies that have proven beyond all doubt that poxy besotted swaggerers have lower instances of heart disease, so don't try that old argument on this old girl!

BTW- are you a time traveler?

Maggie said...

Oh yeah- I'm not an unenlightened directionless pissant. Although I am not very good with driving directions.

Last I checked I have not received an allograft. Unless of course it was done that time I was abducted by space aliens.

Helen said...

Wow...someone went OTT on the crazy bucket. :|

sansen said...

Maggie, your blog is some kind of magnet for weirdos; that can be entertaining, but I am sure you are more annoyed than anything.

Rina said...

Exhouse me, the truth.. Not to sound negative or anything, but you not fan of Andy and Frank Schleck from Luxembourg. What you doing here? You say we should get over your views, maybe you should have a look at them again..

Rina said...

Miss Maggies.. I'm impressed this blog attract so many weridos..

Bridget said...