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Monday, August 4, 2008

Cycling World Rocked by Rumors of Andy's "Womanizing!"

As always I will premise this post by letting readers know that I have absolutely no idea what I am talking about. I read about this rumor on another blog. Thanks for this juicy tidbit to work with, Helen! I will twist and spin it in my usual fashion.

"Which young star of the TDF has a womanizing problem? We hear the whiter- than white hope of the future puts so much time and effort into chasing the ladies that even Filippo Pozzato is reported to be disgusted."

Let's debunk/reinforce this rumor (doublespeak hee hee) in an analytical manner:
  1. Andy Schleck is 23 years old. If he wasn't interested in women, I'd be worried. 
  2. Side effects of EPO and Peptide Hormones include impotence, decreased sex drive, and development of female breast tissue in males. Do you see breasts on Andy? I DON"T! Therefore, if Andy is "womanizing;" to me this is proof positive that he is NOT doping! Go Andy!
  3. Filippo Pozzato isn't disgusted. He's jealous! Plus who cares what "Pippo" thinks?
  4. Shoot! If the anti-doping campaign keeps up at full force; the entire pelaton will be chasing girls. Could make for interesting watching as each member drops away to chase after a pretty French country girl.
  5. Andy "never seemed to have a bad day, nor to waiver in pursuit of his goal (though he did nearly miss the start after setting eyes on a particularly lovely podium girl.)"  Is this a bad thing in a 23 year old male? I think not. 
  6. According to Bernard Hinault (known cannibal) Andy meets the criteria for "Superhero." Do superheroes always get the girl? Yes.

I rest my case. If Andy Schleck is into chicks a) he is a totally normal 23-yr-old male b) a healthy sex drive means he is NOT doping and, 
c) He is a Superhero


Helen said...

It wasn't so much the fact it could be him that worried me [being into girls is a good thing!] but more the Pozzato comment. He's a dirty dog, a pure womaniser. Was he disgusted because he's too ugly and not cute like Andy to attract these women or was the rider really going all out. Probably the first option.
Pippo has always been judgemental...and jealous.

Maggie said...

So let's spin it to Andy's favor. Andy Rocks! Pippo does not. Where did Pozzato finish in TdF? 67th place! Hey at least he finished I guess. Another one for the "where are they now?" files.

I love rumors!

Maggie said...

Oh yeah- And where did Andy finish? 12th! YES! Frank? 6th! Go Schlecks!

Anonymous said...

Maggie, thanks for a great blog! I really like it, both Frank and Andy is very cool. Noticed this, and got curious. Does Andy have a girlfriend? A fan from Denmark!