Through my tireless efforts and middle school level PhotoShop tm skills; I again bring you the most exclusive breaking news on why Andy Schleck Rocks and Cadel Evans does not.
As seen above, Cadel Evans returns to his hometown of Arthurs Creek (If it's Arthur's Creek shouldn't there be an apostrophe??!!) wearing the "Grey Hoodie" Category Jersey from the 2008 Tour de France. This jersey represents the "most boring GC contender." Maybe all that beer on "rest days" slowed you down, Cadel?
Boring during the actual racing that is. Cadel's post-stage interviews were actually quite funny. See previous posts.
As you can see, Cadel is now trying to become the dictator of Australia. I thought Australia was a parliamentary democracy??!! Further, he wants Australians to give him beer in addition to complete power! (Probably Foster's Lager.) Australians! Stand up and don't hand over the reins to the likes of Cadel Evans!
Actually, Cadel has fallen on hard times since his second place finish in this year's Tour. He has been reduced to begging for beer (and cookies for his dog, Molly.) He has recently been seen at intersections in Arthurs Creek with a dirty rag trying to wash windshields.
Tidbit: Cadel Evans' favorite quote: "Ride fast, live slow."
Shouldn't it be just the opposite for you, Mr. (2nd place) Evans? Ride slow, live fast?