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Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Back to Basics: Or How Cadel Evans Sooo Does Not Rock


OK- so I feel that I need to get back to the basics of this blog. One of my main purposes is to demonstrate why Cadel Evans DOES NOT ROCK! I have been falling short of that mission recently due to my fascination with the bizarre and subjective nature of the 2008 Beijing Olympics.

In this blurb I will catch you folks up on what Cuddles has been up to recently, and why he still sucks.

The picture above shows that Cadel is branching out into new fields. He has developed these action figures that are part of a game in which the goal is for the cyclist to smash his helmet into a cameraman. I hear the figures are made in China, which brings me to my next bit of news on Cadel.

The video below is actual footage of Cuddles' savage attack on the cameraman during the Tour.



For shits and giggles I went to cadel.com. There is a lot of gratuitous BS in this site, but I'll give you the highlights.
  1. Cuddles is selling "Free Tibet" undershirts. A whopping 20% goes to help Tibetan students! WOW! So let's do some basic math here: The shirt costs you, the consumer, 35 $ US. Of that 35 bucks 7 will go to some Tibetan students (maybe.) The shirts themselves probably cost about 2 bucks each (made in China- do you see where I am going with this?) Now we are up to 9 bucks. I am sure that S&H is not included, so Cuddles and his Chinese cronies make 26$ US for each cheapo undershirt they sell to naive do-gooders.
Cadel is truly a Prince among men!
2. Also on Cadel.com are some pretty funny diary entries. This one in particular caught my eye: Check out July 5 entry: "It seems like only a short while ago I was visiting the psychotherapist for my daily sessions of ultrasound and being a bit worried."

OK- so he really said Physiotherapist, but I think he MEANT psychotherapist, and of course what I think is right is right, so there you go. Honestly though, check out his site and let me know if it's just me or if it really sucks.

There are other fascinating pages within the site such as "JUST IN- Chiara's Corner." Snore- who cares?

All for now. As you can see Cadel is still boring, still does not rock, AND NOW is exploiting his fans into buying cheapo T-Shirts that will probably fall apart after the first wash. You go Cadel!





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-(_)/@(_) Cadel with 2 flats on his crappy bike

9 comments:

Helen said...

Hey Maggie, see that's really freaky because I too visited cadel.com today :| And was highly amused. Thats where i got the april fools pic article pic from! And Chiara's corner is hilarious. Scroll down a little way on her entries to see how she bitches against journalists and fans who are calling Cadel boring/evil/nasty. She 100% backs and defends him. Hah! And I love the top photo. Is it from secretsofthepeloton.com? I love their site so much, plastic peloton is the first thing i go to when my procycling mags arrive! Great entry!

Maggie said...

Great minds think alike! I LOVE the plastic Pelaton! Whaddaya think- we should start a fantasy league or something?

Helen said...

Yes! That would be pretty damn cool!

Maggie said...

OMG! I just read Chiara's posts during the tour. ROTFL LMAO 8-D

sansen said...

Dude, his eyebrows have got to scare the other cyclists.

MontyZooma said...

oh my god, helen, maggie and sansen. i thought lance was the best in the world. i heard andy say that during this years tour at start of stage 17..

Maggie said...

Monty, you silly person,

Lance may be the best in the world, but Andy is the best in the UNIVERSE! Did you not see the title of this blog?

Plus Andy is a humble person, so of course he would say that. Unlike "you know who."

sansen said...

Mr Cuddles has an online diary? Um, I think of diary writing being the province of, say, girly preteens obsessed with everything the Media tells them to obsess over. Clearly, sports (barring cheerleading) is not what that stereotype is into. So diary writing is not for grown men; how about calling it blog or journal instead? Sorry, diary is one of those words that has baggage to me...

Maggie said...

Salient point.